slime cocktails and onomatopoeia chips

unsnackable vol. 21



Feb 01 2021

5 mins read


I don't know the meaning of the word "lazy." As a pejorative, as a self-descriptor, it says nothing. If this was a 7th-grade essay, I could throw the dictionary definition here to take up space, but substack has a length limit.

I call myself lazy all the time, but I don't believe it (usually). In this post-5 hour energy era of my life, rationing my resources is the norm, but devoting so many of those resources to surviving is so dull. The energy to do things I enjoy is nowhere to be found.

It would be great to make more things, to develop and share more recipes, to create more ~content~ as is often asked of me. It would be great, but I strive to protect my hobbies from rogue ambition for the sake of visibility. I don't want an empire, only to carve moments of joy out of this world and share that joy with others. I wonder if leaning into that protectionist impulse instead of becoming a "rise & grind bad bitch" looks like laziness from the outside.

But sometimes it's necessary. It is part of the lifelong project of learning to extend the same grace to myself as I give to others. Oh and letting myself have frozen pizza for dinner once in a while. Well, slightly tweaked frozen pizza.


I might have a spot of disdain for unfettered ambition, but luckily I don’t feel that way about yearning and that is why i’m able to bring you more unsnackables

the unsnackables



I don't know if you can call it self-care because I was in elementary school, but I don't think I ever treated myself better than when I remembered to put my Capri Sun into the freezer so it would melt into a perfect slush by snack time the next day. I would fish my scissors out of my sparkly pencil case, cut open the pouch, and luxuriate in the juicy goodness. I wonder if being able to reach into the freezer and grab a Capri Sun popsicle captures that same magic.


I love a bit of a forced onomatopoeia, and I also love chutney, but I am not sure why these chips have aspartame? I love all of God's flavor creations and many chemical approximations, but I am curious if there is any sourness or salt to balance that sweetness.


It is a new year, and I'm slowly accepting that my inability to comprehend the magic of salted licorice is a personal failure. Maybe learning to bake with licorice might be my path? One of the best things I've ever tasted *was* a fancy dessert porridge with licorice cream in Copenhagen. Maybe if I sampled this soda collab of Finnish favorites: Hartwall's lemonade and Fazer's Ässä mix of peach, pear, orange, blackcurrant, and salted licorice sweets in one path to enlightenment would be shorter.


If you ever watched the commercials for Nickelodeon Studios and thought the Slime Geyser was a forbidden water fountain, this might be the drink for you. Okay, I did that. This is a drink for me.


Mixed Tea Fruit Candy ( Japan)- Much like they champion policy that drains the social safety net for the future, I wonder if old people created the narrative of hard candy being for old people because they wanted to keep it to themselves. Either way, these are very good!

Mezzo Mix (Germany)- A distant cousin of previous unsnackable SchwipSchwap, this orange-tinged cola is so drinkable that I considered using it in a cocktail but didn't want to mask any of the flavors.

unsnackable reads

Snaxshot - So much of the information in the snackosphere is regurgitated press releases but Snaxshot analyzes the market and provides data to back trends that I only occasionally notice anecdotally, and features some cool CPG brands as well.

Is Diet Soda Girly- I have been circling this article about "gender contamination" and food branding since I featured that Bubblegum Iced Tea for bros.

On Cake- Alicia Kennedy’s newsletter is one of my absolute favorites. It has taught me so much (and made me shift my habits and consumption) so I was honored to lend some thoughts to her piece on cake, social media, and cake decorating.

I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.21 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.

Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.22 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me what flavor you imagined the Nickelodeon slime had.

@notfolu on insta

@notfolu on twitter

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal

Read more posts like this in your inbox

Subscribe to the newsletter

South Africa