coughdrop brinkmanship and asmr chips

unsnackable vol. 19

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Folu

Jan 18 2021

5 mins read

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When I'm sleep-deprived, I hallucinate. It used to scare me, and maybe it still should, but I appreciate that my body gives me a clear signal to slow down.

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I didn't take time off during the holidays because an idle mind holds too much power. Now it is January, and it's not that I'm burnt out or spread too thin, it's that I keep unlocking these bonus levels of burnout.

Ambient noise is the final boss that I can't seem to beat. Every time I spend an hour scrolling my playlists and cycling through streaming services to pick something to put on in the background, I feel like I'm coming undone. If I scroll long enough, maybe I'll find the perfect album to push me into a fugue state where I'm able to finish my work, chores, and creative projects with time to spare.

Maybe Parker Posey made some points in Josie and the Pussycats. A little brainwashing could do me good. I can only hope that my 87 plays of Driver's License are getting me closer to that goal.

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My brain might need a deep scrub, but I still rounded up some new unsnackables


the unsnackables


sweet

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Sexy cough drop shakes? Energy drink cough drop candy? I can't tell if the approach Halls is taking is better described as edging or brinkmanship. Either way, I am happy to watch as they create products that signal the end of society as we know it.


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Coffee Crisp is such a salt of the earth candy bar. It never fails, but that steadfast commitment to minding its own Canadian business means that it isn't looking to turn heads. This extra thicc coffee crisp packs more goodness into the same chocolate shell, and I think we should celebrate that growth.


salty

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As a noted hard crunchy chip hater ( in this house we do not stan Kettle Chips) I just know that the airy, crispy texture of these chips would fill a void in my life. How am I so sure? I watched multiple video reviews of people eating these chili-and-chicken flavored masterpieces while wearing noise-canceling headphones.


thirsty


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It's been years since I've tasted freshly squeezed sugarcane juice, but the memory lingers like a ghost on my tongue. I'm sure that this sugarcane water, created as a byproduct during sugarcane processing, tastes like that ghost incarnate. If this sugarcane water is Casper, then actual sugarcane juice would be Devon Sawa.


boozy


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I've whispered sweet nothings to the Instagram algorithm and tricked it into mostly showing me obscure snacks and the accelerating trend cycle of cakestagram. Occasionally, an influencer will slip through the cracks. Usually, it is because one of those morally flexible dummies has somehow forgotten this worldwide panettone and appear to be “vacationing” in Dubai. It makes as much sense as this polish "Dubai" themed bottled cocktail being pear flavored.


unsnackableIRL

I'm still steadfast in my belief that most websites/snack boxes/snackstagram importers price snacks in a truly wild way, and it ruins the snacking experience. But sometimes the stars align and the unsnackables become...snackable

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Everything pictured is from YamiBuy and arrived quickly, packed safely, and was free shipping with a $50 order. $50 is a lot of snacks, but it's pretty easy to hit the minimum with two people ( this is only half of the order). My birthday is on Wednesday, I deserve a little treat.

Country Ma'am Vanilla & Green Tea Uji-Kintoki Cookies (Japan) - Cheese Tea is a few years past its peak as a trend, even stateside, but it is still surprising to see it translated into a cookie with the same texture as Keebler Soft Batch. I wish the tea flavor was more prominent.

BISCUIT Levain Crunch Hakuto Tart (Japan)- The texture of this snack deserves hyperbole because, wow. It combines a crumbly wheat cracker base with an airy peach flavored cream cheese topping that dissolves as soon as it hits your tongue. It feels like a pastry I'd spend weeks trying to replicate.

POKKA Lemon Juice Drink (Japan)- Japanese vending machines and convenience stores sell canned and bottled hot beverages like tea, coffee, and lemon/citrus/honey drinks like this one. It was only okay because there was a noticeable sucralose aftertaste.

Laoshan Coke (China)- Natural cola tastes the same regardless of origin, but I appreciate that this date-sweetened beverage had a bit of a fruity bend.

Calpis Concentrate Pear (Japan)- Asian pears are one of my favorite fruits because they avoid the textural sins of pears and apples while showcasing both of their flavors as one. This concentrate kept the freshness of the pear flavor with the textbook Calpis creaminess.

(This isn’t spon for YamiBuy but if you make a purchase, use my referral code and let me know what you get!)


I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.19 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.


Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.20 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me which

@notfolu on insta

@notfolu on twitter

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors ( or want to wish me happy birthday on the 20th) you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal

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