jug wine and anthropomorphized salsa

unsnackable vol. 11



Nov 23 2020

4 mins read


Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to feel small. Not to feel young. I still remember aching for adulthood and for freedom that I now know doesn't exist. But to feel physically small. To feel less aware of how my presence shifts the energy of a space.

In pictures from preschool, I towered over the other kids. I stand a meager Boston 6ft (aka 5'10") as an adult, so the hyper-visibility almost feels unearned. I like to tell myself that it is because I'm incredibly beautiful. But there are always hints of anti-blackness, hints of the knowledge that my body has been seen as unruly since it was too young to deserve the designation.

Daintiness feels easier to explore through objects than through identity. Last year, when I was thinking about 2020 and the endless doldrums of electoralism, I predicted that I'd pivot to miniatures this year. And like clockwork, I was drawn into the world of very cute, tiny things. Dangerous, because now I find myself in competition with the parents of small children to find Shopkins Real Littles. Can you blame me? It's a fever dream of cute aggression and capitalism.


Miles away from the machinations of a CPG conglomerate tricking children into forming parasocial relationships with anthropomorphized brands, lies the work of my other quarantine obsession. Rebecca Ackermann's clay miniatures of delicious food are one of the few reasons I log onto the cursed Instagram app. Seeing one of my cakes meticulously reproduced in clay is easily the greatest compliment my baking has ever received.


While they might not all be cute as anthropomorphized miniatures, I've still pulled together another great batch of unsnackables

the unsnackables


Poppy Seeds are so much more than a one-trick pony. They're like Seabiscuit and the triple crown is my heart? This analogy has escaped me. Hopefully, it still conveys my interest in this chocolate-covered Ukrainian snack of sweetened, vanilla-flavored curd cheese (curd cheese falls somewhere between quark and cottage cheese) with poppyseeds.


I never complain about how much Americans disrespect wafers because the lack of enthusiasm probably keeps the prices low. Sadly, the CEO of the brand that makes my favorite sweet wafer pledged their public allegiance to an authoritarian bigot. Maybe these savory potato wafers can take their place in my heart.


One reason I fell into writing about snacks is that I was under the false impression that it would be easier to parse their complicated food systems and political implications. But sometimes I pick a beverage out of pure curiosity (What is Green Punch anyway?) and it ends up being a microcosm of how the legacy of colonialism in Suriname, the transatlantic slave trade, and immigration in the Netherlands are all intertwined. After some research, I can confidently say that I lack the authority to speak on that history or on what flavor Green Punch is (reviews say..."fruit"?)


My tastes err more pet nat than jug wine these days but something about seeing Carlo Rossi everywhere in Japan when we visited last year and Japan's firm grasp on RTD beverage perfection in so many forms gives me a bit of hope that this might be quite delicious.


CALBEE GRILL-A-CORN MALA (China) -What a wonder. These somehow captured the numbing sensation of mala spice without blasting my tastebuds with spiciness.

SUNTORY HONEY & LEMON (Japan) It might be psychosomatic, but I am quite sure that this beverage has healing powers.

SODALMU ICE (Morocco) I wouldn't say that orange and apple are filler flavors but both of them tend to back down when they are paired with other flavors. This beverage lets them shine in equal measures. It reminds me of raiding the beverage bar at a brunch buffet. (Please click through and listen to the jingles for this soda on the Sodalmu website, they are such bangers)

I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.11 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.

Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.12 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me which anthropomorphized snack fits your personality the best. I’m the coy cheez-it

@notfolu on insta

@notfolu on twitter

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

If you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal

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