quintuple thirst prompts and seasonal depression pumpkin

unsnackable vol. 65



Mar 20 2023

6 mins read


Welcome to unsnackable. This free newsletter is a small tantrum about international snacks, beverages and fast food that I want but cannot have with occasional diatribes about other snacks that I can’t get off my mind.

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The time I spend in the wobbling house of cards formerly known as the bird app is more muscle memory and inside jokes than anything else nowadays. I would mourn more fervently, but I'm comfortable watching my screen time decrease despite my terminal case of poster's disease and comforted by the friendships that live on as group chats. The upside of staying logged on as the infrastructure crumbles around me is watching the inane hypotheticals and widely circulated phishing attempts of "Prompt Twitter" fade from my consciousness.

Occasionally the format yields an intriguing question, like "5 drinks to know me" which appears to have started about a month ago with an English prompt answered in Russian. 

I tried to answer a few times, but the character limit always defeated me. So I was forced to bring the prompt here, where I can provide the necessary context.

‎5 Drinks To Know Me (Extended)

  1. Malta India (tiny bottle) Was I shaped by the time in 5th Grade when I brought a Malta India to school, and my classmates/administrators thought it was a tiny pony of beer? Undoubtedly. Was I also shaped by the invisible hand of the supply chain ensuring that the Asian/African markets my family frequented stocked this Puerto Rican malt instead of Supermalt or other varieties favored in Nigeria? Absolutely.
  2. Kristian Regale Apple (but also Pear) I'm well into adulthood with easy access to (and regular consumption of) champagne, but I will always consider sparkling juice the most incredible luxury of our humble planet. This Swedish beverage was imported and bottled a few hours from where I grew up (and near where my dad used to work). It was a staple of celebrations and occasional weekday family dinners (the schedule jenga required for us to make it to the table at the same time made those nights worth celebrating too)
    Kristian Regale » KR Products
  3. Exactly 2 Unfrozen Ice Pops Carefully ripped from the pack and sipped like an aged whisky (Any Flavor). It is a stretch to call an unfrozen ice pop a beverage. Still, at the end of my life, when I (hopefully) walk into the warm glowing light and a compilation of joyful moments flashes around me, I will see my friends, family, and every time I was successfully able to rip an unfrozen ice pop from its siblings and sip the sugary elixir without making a gigantic mess.
  4. Mitsuya Cider It is easy to imprint on something that makes you feel better when you are at your lowest (food poisoning that has confined you to the floor with a flaccid pillow when you are on vacation halfway across the world), but Mitsuya cider makes me feel invigorated and effervescent when the universe throws a wide variety of slights my way (somewhat sad, capitalism, menstrual cramps, hair looks kinda weird, delivery of package I was waiting for was delayed) 
  5. A 2:1:1: ratio cocktail topped with a splash of bubbles I love bars. I love the ingenuity of bartenders. I love taking a sip and tasting carefully layered flavors, textures, and sensations, and I often look to cocktails for inspiration when I'm baking. But I have been forced to google the shelf life of a specialty spirit that has languished on my bar cart too often when all I want is 2 ounces of a base spirit, 1 ounce of sweet, and 1 ounce of sour served over ice and topped with some sparkling water. 

Do you feel like you know me five times better? Do you feel like you are five times more excited for another assortment of unsnackables?

‎th‎e unsnackables


The inspiration for my birthday cake last year was pulled from the movie theater concession stand, with cola and popcorn taking prominent positions. Sounds zanier than it tasted, with the spiced molasses notes of cola adding a necessary warmth against the saltiness of popcorn. I wouldn't expect the same subtlety from this Chupa Chups exercise in brand licensing, but the name is so good that I'm inclined to give it a chance. 


Snack bí đỏ Poca gói 35g 1
I've been spending too many hours in bed because the slow transition into the brightness of spring is ruining my life. I should take a tip from these chips and celebrate the bounty of this endless winter. Pumpkins cant thrive in the dark days of winter. Maybe I can do the same.



Apple, orange, and lemon coming together to celebrate a non-copyrightable Pinocchio character? The only thing dreamier is the end of the mouse's undue influence on US copyright law.


숙희해수] 숙취해소음료 ABC 60mL 1병 SukheeHaesoo ABC Juice Korea Effective Hango |  Narimarieusa
The algorithmic signals fed into the content machines that I stare at on my handheld glowing box (consuming a lot of soju, looking at swatches of Korean lip stains) have led me to a constant supply of videos of young women popping this onto bottles of soju. I'm so jealous because it looks SO satisfying, like the apple beet and carrot flavor paired with the smooth neutrality of soju.

I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.65 of unsnackable.

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