My mom corrected me when I tried to estimate how many years my family spent in the house my parents moved out of earlier this week. For an entire lifetime, minus approximately 730 days, I called it home. And like so many things this year, there was no big sendoff, just a late-night notification from the family group text. I loved this view but somehow only have pictures where I’m holding food in front of it.
I don't associate the holidays with a place, or even with snow anymore. Our family traditions have slowly faded into nothing more than just being together, but that was enough. What does enough look like this year? I've taken to my notes app like a disgraced celebrity looking for redemption. Seeking a way to apologize to myself. For nothing and everything. Maybe yet another scattershot menu will get me there.
Ranked just slightly below my longing for traditions that lack form sits an all-consuming desire for grapes. For these fig-sized Korean grapes. Why are they so big? Why can't I have them? They would solve all of my problems. And unlike figs, I think they just exist because of selective breeding, not as a living shrine to a wasp carcass. They would make all of my emotions smooth and sweet, consumable and ephemeral.
Merry Christmas to these giant grapes, an Un-Merry Christmas to me because I cannot have them, and bah humbug to all of us because I have assembled another set of unsnackables.
I started buying Cool Whip earlier in quar because I realized that a single spoonful straight from the freezer is more satisfying than 80% of ice cream. Nirvana is my physiological response to that oil-stabilized dairy product, my budget feels the same way because it is much cheaper than the artisan ice cream I've been buying trying to chase a similar high. This dessert from Lawson is like an inverted strawberry shortcake, where a fluffy cloud of cream encases a tiny sliver of cake. It's what my spoon dreams about when I plunge it into yet another container of Cool Whip
I've been thinking about the Spam, Oreo, and Mayo burger from McDonald's China since my friend Bethany put it on my radar a few days ago. Enough that it almost seems a bit boring. Spam is both very good and savory enough to dwarf most flavors it is paired with. What caught my eye instead, other than McDonald's China's website being built with gifs and very little static text so I only figured out what this sandwich was by reverse engineering info out of public Weibo posts, is this green peppercorn and malt chicken sandwich. It sounds good in a "yes, I would pick this during my obligatory but slightly shameful meal at McDonald's during an international trip" type of way.
I've been coping with how much I miss going to movies well, mostly. Other than how I burst into tears when my iPhone memories showed me a picture of an artfully layered movie theater icee the other day. I picked this because grape and aloe sounds refreshing enough to shower in. Also because it reminds me of one of the most impactful pieces of cultural commentary of all time.
Abbraccio is a mid-tier Italian chain, owned by the same company that operates Carrabba's and Outback Steakhouse in the states. They have a collab with Stella Artois that led them to make a savory panettone. I find this intriguing because panettone is a finicky, time-intensive pastry and I am curious from a baking standpoint how you could incorporate beer into its multi-day leavening process. Please know that I will spiral for a few days, reading recipes in algorithmically translated Italian as soon as I hit send on this newsletter, to figure out an answer to this question.
(I didn’t have any snacks this week, but I promise that will change next week!)
I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.15 of unsnackable.
If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.
Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.16 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me what fruit you wish was bigger (or smaller) than its natural size for your snacking pleasure
I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.
I think there has been a lot more discussion about substack as a platform lately and I’ve considered shifting this newsletter to a paid subscription (because I do spend a lot of time researching snacks!) but I like sending something nice to your inboxes for free every week, so if you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu or on paypal
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