the devil's pizza and non-canon smurfs

unsnackable vol. 9



Nov 09 2020

5 mins read


This week I've been thinking about comfort. About comfort as a communal act. About comfort as a negotiation instead of a fixed state. About comfort as an evolution. About comfort as something I wish I knew how to accept as much as I know how to create it for others. About comfort as care and knowledge. 

It's a natural line of thought in the wake of an election that so many hoped would legitimize their investment in a nation that has shown that it doesn't care about them. Or for those of us who had spent a lifetime preparing for mutating versions of what "the worst" could look like with equal parts cynicism (in systems) and measured optimism (in communities and where hard work could get us,) it was a waiting game with no sense of relief in sight. 

I am an absolute pro at taking slow and deliberate steps away from any strong emotion, but I had to put in the work this week. Meg Cabot helped a lot ( The Princess Diaries books are still impeccable), as did the timeless banality of Made In Chelsea, and donations (emergency requests via venmo and to local orgs like Lovin Spoonfuls) but I processed a lot of feelings by cooking. Big surprise. 

Election day had me reverse searing steak at 8AM. Mac & Cheese and frozen cocktails churned in my ice cream maker followed. But the big winner was the Lao Gan Ma chili crisp wings I made by coating chicken wings that were still a little frozen ( a sacrifice made for the sake of the ice cream maker cocktails) in corn starch, baking soda, salt & pepper, then leaving them on a roasting rack in a hot oven until the chicken fat rendered the coating crispy. The cooking and the leftovers did more for me than the final meals. 


We heard the news on Saturday when we were still in bed and Yamazaki 12 was poured to a soundtrack of YG before we even thought about breakfast. Many, many more drinks followed. But even in those celebrations, there wasn't comfort. There was a promise that outside of the system we would build something better. We would light some things on fire instead of reinforcing what was crumbling. 

At least we know that as some things change, and others stay the same, we will always have a new set of unsnackables

the unsnackables


My snack Overton window has shifted to a point that when I research a snack and I find out it has a recognizable flavor profile instead of something new and revelatory, I'm disappointed. I was immediately ready to talk about how logical it is to turn the sweet, grassy flavor of sugar snap peas into a frozen dessert before I realized that this ice cream is made with mung beans. I'm not quite sure that desserts made adzuki beans (red mung beans) or savory dishes made with green mung beans give me a clear picture of what this ice cream would taste like, but I still want it. 


I see myself in every single meme about doubling, tripling, or quadrupling the amount of garlic required by a recipe. Moderation is always a fallacy, and that is double, triple, and quadruple as true for garlic. This garlic spangled pizza is called the "Devil's Whisper" from Domino’s Japan and is topped with two types of sausage, a perfectly moderate amount of garlic, and jalapenos. I'm too Nigerian to joke about making a deal with the devil but just know... I would consider it for this pizza. 


In my quest to figure out why this Smurfs soda is green and pear flavored instead of the logical shade of blue, I dug into the mythology of The Smurfs. I thought maybe in an earlier edition of The Smurfs, they were three pears tall (instead of three apples tall). All I found were tips on how to harvest apples in the Smurfs Village iPhone game. Of course, I downloaded that game, and I am currently thinking about how much time I'm going to spend playing it. My mother shamed me from every mentally engaging in video games when she banned them from our house, so I just devote that emotional energy to pointless mobile games. 


I don't have actual memories of FourLoko or Sparks, merely a hazy positive nostalgia and a lingering adolescent death drive. When I google this beer-energy drink hybrid beverage, one of the first results is a steroid and bodybuilding forum so this fires risk-taking pleasure centers in my brain that have not been activated since 2009. 


KIKUSUI GINGO (Japan) Months and months ago, in the before times, my friend Alyssa hosted a sake tasting event that opened my palate to sake and my mind the world of baking with sake lees. Sake lees are the fermented brewing discards of sake making. They made for a very flavorful base for the birthday cakes I baked a few weeks ago (and defrosted a slice of this week). The buttercream is made with Kikusui Ginjo cup sake, which definitely falls into the snackable category.


I’m still figuring this out, but hopefully, you enjoyed v.9 of unsnackable.

If you didn’t please don’t tell me, tell your friends to subscribe because they hopefully have better taste than you.

Think you’ll miss me before unsnackable v.10 comes to your inbox? follow me on other parts of the internet and tell me about what you’re snacking on or tell me about the comfort snacks that got you through the week

@notfolu on insta

@notfolu on twitter

I’ll try any snack at least once, so don’t be shy if there is something you want to send me to try.

If you’d like to support my snack related endeavors you can find me on venmo at thefolu

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